Thursday, November 13, 2008

Review #1: Mr. Helping Hand

What I'm Reviewing: A Blog
Title: Mr. Helping Hand
Author: B.K. Root
Blog Site: Blogger

So my original idea for this review was to find a blog written by a ten year-old. So I looked up "Ten Year Old" on Google. If policemen are tracing my web searches they're probably getting the wrong idea. Ah well, I live around the Montreal area, so our cops, who are currently on strike, are about as threatening-looking as the typical Insane Clown Posse fan/A dad at the beach. Dang. I can't find a decent picture, but they're all dressed up wearing red caps, sunglasses, and camo pants. It's pretty ridiculous; I saw one lady cop wearing pink/violet camo pants. I guess she's part of the police unit bent on infiltrating the easter bunny's chocolate/heroine/slave trade factory. The three magical ingredients to Easter.

Anyway, instead of finding a ten year old's blog, I found the blog of a man named B.K. Root. He calls himself Mr. Helping Hand:











When it comes to his profile on Blogger, Root employs heavy use of Ockham's razor to solidify a simplistic outlook on who he is as a human being. His "About Me" is the only section with any information, and it reads: "I enjoy helping others less fortunate in my free time". That's the first weak point. I know, I'm probably not the best person to scrutinize, as my own "About Me" section is, to my knowledge, totally blank. That's understandeable though, I just started this blog. For a better example of what a good "about me" looks like, let's have a look at the Miley Cyrus fan page on myspace: I LOVE MILEY CYRUS!!. You see what I'm talkin' about? So maybe instead of "I enjoy helping others less fortunate in my free time", you could change it to "WELL, I'M A HUGE FAN OF OTHERS LESS FORTUNATE, WE'RE TALKING BIGGEST FAN! I'VE GOT ALL PICTURES, DVDS, POSTERS PLASTERED IN MY HOUSE! I GAVE MY SHIRT TO 3 DIFFERENT LESS FORTUNATE PEOPLE!". Capitalize on the capslock, it'll do wonders.

Root, and some lady named Tera, both affiliated with a group of people called "HLA" are dedicated to finding one single-parented less-fortunate family and buying them Christmas presents. Turns out they did find one family this year. I looked at the Christmas lists from the children. One of the daughters is a huge Hannah Montana fan. Now there's something that'll get your blog some views (which is what I assume all blog writers want). Anyway, it's pretty obvious that the message Mr. Helping Hand is sending is actually worth something and a genuinely selfless effort at helping out those in need.

In fact, I feel like a terrible person even writing a blog entry that treats such a genuine act of altruism in such a crass manner. As if I have the right to judge the aesthetic and formal value of a blog that isn't geared towards any "blog formalities". Ok, so the background is kind of stock and the primary image on the front page disturbs the hell out of me, how does criticizing it help anyone at all? I guess this is how Jerry Springer felt right before he decided to make valued programming that was dedicated to solving people's domestic problems. So if you can, help out the needy this Christmas. With that, I think I've regained some sort of credibility that shows I'm a human being and not just someone who thinks he can get away with bluntly ascribing judgement to what is essentially an unjudgeable act of goodness.

TOTAL STAR JUDGEMENT: 3 stars!

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