Thursday, November 13, 2008

I'm letting you get to know me here!

So this is the first post. Brief intro, yes?

Today I was plotting to do something I thought would be really original, which would be to make a blog, but get this, under a fake alias. I had it all planned out; I'd create a fourteen year old boy who wasn't all too good with the cute girls at school, I was going to make a youtube account, a facebook account, a livejournal account, a blogger account, maybe even a bank account. Why would I do all of this? I wanted to experiment and see the reactions of people and how easy it may or may not be to blend into the teenage world via the web. After doing that for about ten years I'd publish a book about all of the failed human relationships that could never be brought to fruition in real life because I actually wasn't Jakesh Kevirk, the mild-mannered east-indian teenager I had fooled the world into thinking I was.

Then I realized two things: A) That involves a lot of work, in terms of photoshopping a different human being's anatomy and face, altering the voice for eventual podcasts and B) It seems creepy enough to get me arrested. And as much of a fan I am of full body cavity searches, you know what they say about "too much of a good thing": It destroys your digestive system and leads you into a life where all you can do at parties is make lame references to M*A*S*H and then cry and ruin all of Alan Alda's witty punchlines.

So instead I decided on the next best thing: something so original, it's going to have it's own made-for-tv-but-delegated-to-web-movie by the end of it. A site where I "review" things. I know you probably just clenched your colonoscopy bag with such surprise that there's now a piece of half-digested carrot where your brother's face used to be in that awful family portrait. Believe me, it's an improvement on his face! OH NO HE DI-INT! Yes, I did. Enough of that now.

On to the reviews.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Great. I can't wait to read what I'm sure will be the ultimate review blog of the century.

Thank God. Thank you!